I go to chemo tomorrow. This last round has been tougher than the last. It seems that is the trend. I think that the more I have it the more it wears on me. I am still weak today and before that was not the case. I am not thinking too hard about tomorrow, because if I do I will have a panic attack. I have never had those before, but my emotions are not in my full control right now.

I found a plastic surgeon. I am really feeling guided and blessed with my doctors and those helping me through this. I was trying to figure out what I want to do for reconstruction (its ALOT more complicated than just getting implants-especially when you are dealing with radiation) and the more I thought about it, the more panicked I would get. I am telling you, this anxiety is killing me right now!! I have just had to shut off trying to make decisions and just get through the chemo for the time being.

My kids have been having a wonderful time in San Jose! I think they are ready to come home and I am soooo ready to have them home, even though I know its going to be rough with me out of commission. Dave is heading this weekend to go get them and I can't wait to see them!