Unfortunately It just gets Worse...

Ok, where to start...

I have been wanting to update, but of course, when I start falling apart, it seems everything else falls apart including my computer.  So now I am borrowing one so I can get all this out while mine is waiting to be shipped off and hopefully fixed.

I think last I wrote I was off to get my shot.  Well, that didn't even happen that day because insurance was slow to approve it.  Yeah a $3000 shot, gotta love those.  Fortunately I was able to get that a week later and hooray NO side effects!!

On August 27th I went in for my oopharectomy (ovaries out).  Everything went as planned other than my oxygen stats wouldn't go up to where they needed to be so, I ended up spending a night in the hospital doing all kinds of scans trying to figure out why I was having such a hard time with my lungs.  They checked for blood clots, infection, etc. and nothing.  So I went home with antibiotics and prednisone, hoping that would do the trick, unfortunately it has just gotten worse.  More on that one in a minute.

Lets start with last friday.  Dave and I were hanging out in our room looking at a map of Germany and Switzerland making up our dream vacation, hoping to soon get there when the phone rings.  It was 6pm.  The kids bring the phone to me and its Dr. Haslem.  The only thing I could think was "oh crap, why is he calling me".  Of course the news was NOT good.  He told me that Dr. Lunt had just called him with my pathology report on my ovaries and uterus.  There was cancer found in both.  The reason is didn't show up on the PET scan is because with Lobular cancers, it is sneaky and spreads itself out more.  The scan detects areas where there is a lot of activity.  So with that being said he thought maybe I ought to have my lungs checked out with a pulminologist and possibly a bronchoscopy just to rule it out. 

So today I went in to Dr. Ferguson.  I knew the news would not be good, I have felt it.  My lungs have progressively gotten worse just over the last week.  I literally feel and sound like a 90 year old woman, when in fact I will be 36 next week.  We didn't even need to do the bronchoscopy because of what he was able to see on the CT scan.  Its the cancer, clear down in the very bottom of my lungs. He also saw a little bit of fluid and a small part had actually collapsed, but he wasn't too worried about that.  He saw that the lymphnodes were alot bigger in the bottom verses higher up in the lungs.  So he wanted to do some activity tests to see my oxygen go low so that I can get oxygen.  He really thinks that will help me.

Well, when I got home tonight I again got phone calls from the doctors.  First Dr Ferguson with another thought, because I have been scared about not being able to breathe and he pretty much told me the only option I have is oxygen.  Well he came up with another thought, that maybe since my last CT Scan, the fluid might be building up.  It has progressively gotten worse the last week.  So he wants me to go in for a chest x-ray in the morning and if thats the case then he can drain it off my lungs and help me breathe easier.

The next phone call was Dr. Haslem.  I think he was really hoping that my lungs only had an infection.  I told him I was not surprised, and that I knew it was there.  Well, since I have just been getting worse, he is now moving even faster and I now get to do 18 weeks of chemo (Taxol).  He originally told me that the chemo would be light, but now he wants to do a moderate dose.  It will actually be 6 full doses, but spread out so that its 3 weekly doses that equal one main dose.  Does that make sense?  I am trying to write this all down tonight because starting tomorrow, its going to be even more insane!!! Well, we are for sure going to get a few doses in and see how it works and if its too much on me then he will pull back. 

He also wants to try and get me AVASTIN.  For those of you who know Ashley, its basically the same thing that she is doing.  I thought if we all said a prayer, that my insurance company will be cooperative and let me get it! If not pray that the drug company will help me out.  He really wants me to try it, but if it doesn't work out, he said its not worth the money.  If I remember right, its about 12,000 a dose...

If my chest x-ray comes back the same then Dr. Haslem is going to admit me in to the hospital to get my first chemo tomorrow.  If it comes back that there is more fluid I will get it drained, oh joy, another procedure!  Then I will get another port placed and start chemo in a few days.

Now, radiation.  I am suppose to start tomorrow, but I will have to see how the chemo thing goes.  I might have to start friday.  They told me after just a few doses it will take my pain away!  I am sooooo looking forward to that.  I get to do 10.

Ok, now I am exhausted!:)  I am not having time to really think about things, its a good thing!  I will update as I feel like it.

I want you to know that I do believe in MIRACLES!!  I sure could use one about now.  I have been thinking the past few days that when I learn all that I need to  from this that maybe Heavenly Father will take this all away.  Whether by miracle or by a cure!  Lets all pray for a cure, I figure if everyone starts living right and praying and believing then I KNOW a cure will happen! And then not only myself but all those out there suffering right now would be ok...

Please keep those prayers coming!  Thank you to all those that have fasted and prayed for our family!  We have felt so much peace in our home and I pray that you feel it to...